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Harry’s Letter
For this very special week, I want to share a letter that I recently came
upon, written by Harry Edson Browne to his daughter. Harry was an
American writer, politician and investment analyst. He was a presidential
nominee in the U.S. elections of 1996 and 2000 and has written 12 books
that in total have sold more than 2 million copies.
Harry’s letter to his daughter:
If I could give you just one thing, I’d want it to be a simple truth that
took me many years to learn. If you learn it now, it may enrich your life
in hundreds of ways. And it may prevent you from facing many problems
that have hurt people who have never learned it. The truth is simply
this: No one owes you anything. How could such a simple statement be
important? It may not seem so, but understanding it can bless your entire
life. It means that no one else is living for you, my child. Because no
one is you.
Each person is living for himself; his own happiness is all he can ever
personally feel. When you realize that no one owes you happiness or
anything else, you’ll be freed from expecting what isn’t likely to be. It
means no one has to love you. If someone loves you, it’s because there’s
something special about you that gives him happiness. Find out what that
something special is and try to make it stronger in you, so that you’ll
be loved even more. When people do things for you, it’s because they want
to — because you, in some way, give them something meaningful that makes
them want to please you, not because anyone owes you anything. No one has
to like you. If your friends want to be with you, it’s not out of duty.
Find out what makes others happy so they’ll want to be near you.
No one has to respect you. Some people may even be unkind to you. But
once you realize that people don’t have to be good to you, and may not be
good to you, you’ll learn to avoid those who would harm you. For you
don’t owe them anything either. You owe it to yourself to be the best
person possible. Because if you are, others will want to be with you,
want to provide you with the things you want in exchange for what you’re
giving to them.
Some people will choose not to be with you for reasons that have nothing
to do with you. When that happens, look elsewhere for the relationships
you want. Don’t make someone else’s problem your problem. Once you learn
that you must earn the love and respect of others, you’ll never expect
the impossible and you won’t be disappointed. Others don’t have to share
their property with you, nor their feelings or thoughts. If they do, it’s
because you’ve earned these things. And you have every reason to be proud
of the love you receive, your friends’ respect, the property you’ve
earned. But don’t ever take them for granted. If you do, you could lose
them. They’re not yours by right; you must always earn them.
A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no
one owes me anything. For so long as I’d thought there were things I was
entitled to, I’d been wearing myself out —physically and emotionally —
trying to collect them. No one owes me moral conduct, respect,
friendship, love, courtesy, or intelligence. And once I recognized that,
all my relationships became far more satisfying. I’ve focused on being
with people who want to do the things I want them to do.
That understanding has served me well with friends, business associates,
lovers, sales prospects, and strangers. It constantly reminds me that I
can get what I want only if I can enter the other person’s world. I must
try to understand how he thinks, what he believes to be important, what
he wants. Only then can I appeal to someone in ways that will bring me
what I want. And only then can I tell whether I really want to be
involved with someone. And I can save the important relationships for
them.”
? Harry Browne
Something to Think About
These are powerful words, spoken humbly and truthfully. He loved his
daughter enough to pass on the best advice he could give her for a life
that would bring her love, joy and meaning. Harry died of Lou Gehrig's
disease in 2006.
Weekly Activity
Relax, and enjoy time with those you love. When you’re eating meals,
engaged in conversations or participating in festivities, turn your phone
off. Don’t panic! I’m only asking you to do it when you’re with people
who deserve your undivided attention, or when you’re relaxing or eating
or having fun. You’re a great agent. Your clients will wait a few hours
for you to return their call. You might even record this message on your
phone for the week: “I’m enjoying time with my family and friends right
now and hope you are, too. Please leave a message, and I’ll return your
call soon.”
Words of Wisdom
“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is
softer and more beautiful.” – Norman Vincent Peale
“Keep all special thoughts and memories for lifetimes to come. Share
these keepsakes with others to inspire hope and build from the past,
which can bridge to the future.” – Mattie Stepanek
“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and
we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child
again at Christmas time.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder
“You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make
someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift:
happiness.” – Brad Garrett
“To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the
children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the
servant of the others.” – Pope John Paul II
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