|
The Importance of Listening – and Ways to Improve Your Own Skills
Happy Monday! This week I have a very important message for everyone: The art of listening – and how to improve your listening skills.
Communication in your daily life – among friends, family, clients and significant others – is really important for a number of reasons, including fostering self-esteem, maximizing productivity and improving relationships.
Listening seems simple, but it’s more than just the ability to absorb information from someone else. Listening is a process – an active process that’s so important in business and everyday life that we’re committing the entire month of August to it. Each week, we will cover a skill necessary to improve the way you listen and communicate.
This week’s message is on Receiving: the act of absorbing the information being expressed to you, whether verbally or nonverbally. Not all communication is done through speech, and not all listening is done with ears.
No matter how you’re communicating with another person, the key at this stage is to pay attention. Focus all of your energy on the person you’re talking with by following these three simple tips:
· Avoid distractions. This is obvious. Don’t have your cell phone out, don’t text or watch messages as they’re coming in, and don’t have the television on. Don’t try to divide your attention between the person who’s speaking and “something else.” You might think you’re good at multitasking, and perhaps you are, but demonstrating a commitment to the act of listening will make you more respected among your peers.
· Don’t interrupt the speaker. You might want to make an assumption about what the speaker is saying or is about to say, but don’t. It’s rude, and you may find your assumption is wrong, which doesn’t benefit anyone. You can, however, practice nonverbal feedback cues such as nodding to demonstrate your attention.
· Don’t rehearse your response. Not yet. At this stage, your only job is to listen. If you start to plan a response while the other person is speaking, you’re going to miss certain points and not be able to respond to his/her larger message when it’s your turn to talk.
Something to Think About
We all know people who always seem distracted when we talk to them, or who never turn their phones off and feel compelled to check whenever they hear someone trying to reach them. Maybe you are that person.
I recently took a trip with two good friends to relax and unwind. Both are very successful business people, but an interesting thing happened when we arrived at the airport. One friend was on her phone in the car, at the airport, in the elevator up to the lounge and in the lounge. She kept saying, “Sorry, but this is important.” My other friend said, “This is a really important lesson for me. I’m going to apologize to my family when I see them. That’s usually me when I take a vacation with my family, but no more! I never realized how it makes them feel until now.”
It’s interesting that the friend who was observing the behavior suddenly realized how rude it was. The people our friend was talking to were “more important than we were.” Talking to the people on the phone was more important than being present in the moment.
Weekly Challenge
This week, be present when others are talking to you. Don’t get distracted. Don’t interrupt or cut them off. Just listen, nod, and show them that what they’re saying is important to you.
Words of Wisdom
“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we’re listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” – Menninger
“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” – Zig Ziglar
“Just like children, emotions heal when they are heard and validated.” – Jill Bolte Taylor
“Sometimes, what a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.” – Unknown
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” – Doug Larson
|
No comments:
Post a Comment